The Freelance Mentalists.
Friday, February 25, 2005
 
Nominees For Best Single On Billboard's Hot 50 Singles Five Years Ago That I Can't Remember Ever Hearing:

Lonestar, "Amazed"
(a country band hit no. 1?!)
Joe, "I Wanna Know"
(Mario Winans doesn't)
Aaliyah, "I Don't Wanna"
(neither does Aaliyah)
Toby Keith, "How Do You Like Me Now?!"
(not much!!)
Donell Jones, "U Know What's Up"
(I don't even know who U R)

winner: Lonestar. Unless there's some fuck-up with the web-page and this didn't really hit number one, I have to assume this is one bananas ballad.


Nominees For Best Single On Billboard's Hot 50 Singles Ten Years Ago That I Can't Remember Ever Hearing:

K-Ci Hailey, "If You Think You're Lonely Now"
(ooh, sounds bitter!)
Subway feat. 702, "This Lil' Game We Play"
(yeah, no more games!)
20 Fingers feat. Gillette, "Short Dick Man"
(swear to god, never heard it)
Jon Secada, "Mental Picture"
(I bet this is some dirty hokum)
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony feat. Eazy-E "Foe the Love Of $"
(Eazy! $! Foe real!)

Winner: In a startling upset, Gillette's infamous anthem loses to Bone Thugs-N-Harmony cuz I keep meaning to buy Eazy-Duz-It but I never see it anywhere.


Nominees For Best Single On Billboard's Hot 50 Singles Fifteen Years Ago That I Can't Remember Ever Hearing:

Chicago, "What Kind Of Man I Would Be?"
(if I know my a.c. history, somebody not named Peter Cetera)
Whitesnake, "The Deeper The Love"
(the mind boggles)
Expose, "Tell Me Why"
(all the goofy older music lovers I know go ape for Expose. I only know "Point Of No Return" and I don't really get it)
Joan Jett, "Dirty Deeds"
(AC/DC cover?!?!?!)
The Brat Pack, "You're The Only Woman"
(I know this can't be Emilio et al, but I remain curious)

Winner: Joan Jett. Even if it's not AC/DC it's about dirty deeds and it's by Joan Jett. How come I know more pop hits from 1990 than 2000? I really had to stretch for five interesting unheards. Was I listening to the radio that much as a kid, or is that I've had more time to catch things after the fact? Probably both.
 
Comments:
I remember them all. No, those songs were never heard from again. The Whitesnake song actually includes the line, "The deeper the love, the higher the EMOTION!"
 
"Amazed"=Journey without Steve Perry. Take it from me, there is nothing on this earth duller than Lonestar.
 
Joan Jett's version of Dirty Deeds is everything you'd expect and more.
 
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